Showing posts with label #unconditionalbodybeautiful. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #unconditionalbodybeautiful. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 17, 2015

UNCONDITIONAL BODY BEAUTIFUL - PART 3: MY JOURNEY ON MY LEGS




It's March and I can hardly believe that we have reached this leg of our journey... see what I did there? This month's theme for the #UnconditionalBodyBeautiful is all about legs. I have learned so many things from my little legs and I am really pleased that I finally have a chance to tell you all the story.

As a kid and young adult, I never had an issue with my legs, I never looked down on them and thought negatively about them. I don't remember feeling self conscious about them in shorts when I was in my teens either and I thank my lucky stars that I wasn't a child or teen in this day and age, with all this nonsense of needing a thigh gap.
When I got a bit older, I'll say of university age and I gained more weight, I noticed my thighs got a bit lumpy and less smooth and began to feel a little more self conscious about them. I wore longer shorts and skirts and every outfit became a knee length outfit.


I am telling you about my outfit choices because it is an important detail for the next part of the story. As most of you know, I moved from Canada to Paris, France in May of 2010 and stayed for a year. Prior to moving to London, I had got it in my head that I wanted to accomplish something big and prove to myself that I was capable of following it through. I set off on a train in May of 2011 to a small town at the base of the Pyrenees mountains in France called St Jean Pied de Port. From there, I began a 500 mile (800Km) walk all the way over the mountains and into Spain, on the pilgrim route called El Camino (the way). 
It took me 33 days with 2 days rest to complete and to this day I wish that I had taken more time, as there was nothing like the journey. I had not trained and didn't have the best equipment but even still, managed to complete it, after only breaking down once at the half way point and considering giving up.
Why am I tell you this, you might ask?
Because it was those very same lumpy thighs that carried my body for those 33 days. I wish that I could have had them out in the sun more and showed them the way, but thanks to the ever present threat of chub rub, I kept them in capris. Purely for comfort, this was probably for the best but still, it would have been nice.


Fast forward a couple of years, an older, bigger,  more mature and body confident version of myself is sitting in a tattoo parlour, about to wage war on the same thighs that I somehow have neglected to love, despite them carrying me all this time.
First, I began with a sailor pinup on the right thigh and even to this day she is still missing a few details, but being half way accross the world from your tattoo artist makes it hard to finish it. Next, less than a year later, I started on the left thigh, where I had a distinguished portrait of my beloved 18 year old chinchilla, Kenobi done by Amy Savage, here in the UK.
I don't want to imply that tattoos are a fix or an instant body confidence booster, but the day that I got tattoos on my thighs was the day that my mind caught up with my body. All of a sudden, I realised that if these thighs could carry me everyday, and be an important place holder for to works of permanent art then they deserve to be loved and on show.
Since then, I am back to wearing shorts, I worry a lot less about what others think and I love getting my legs out in the Summer.
Without sounding too preachy, if there is a part of you that you don't love, try and think about what that part of your body does for you, what it accomplishes and how well it does it.
I love my legs and am grateful that they are there to carry me through life.
So there you have it, the story of my legs.

Be sure to check out all the amazing other participants of the #UnconventionalBodyBeautiful challenge.

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

#UnconditionalBodyBeautiful -Part 2 - Beautiful Busts



Good morning friends!
So it has been over a month already since the last #UnconditionalBodyBeautiful post and I am so pleased that we are back. This month is all about our busts and what it means to us as women and how it affects our perceptions of ourselves.
I was looking forward to this post as I have never shared much about my journey with my chest but have always wanted to as I think it would be helpful to others, so here we go.
Like I mentioned in my last post, when I was younger, I developed before most of my friends and for many years was very uncomfortable with anything to do with my chest. I was scared that girls would say things when we were changing for gym class because I had to wear a sports bra or any bra at all for that matter. As luck would have it, I was destined to be full chested, like all the women in my family, and by the time high school hit, I felt like I was falling over under the weight of my chest.
All the activities that I loved doing like trampolining and playing rugby became a chore and my back hurt most of the time. I knew something had to change. 
At 16, I spoke to my family doctor about my concerns and was referred to a surgeon to talk about my options and the possibility of a breast reduction. Before I continue, I want to say that I have not listed my before and after sizes from the surgery because it isn't possible to really show the difference without knowing how my body was at the time and every person who goes this route will have a different experience. I don't want to leave people with expectations or false ideas.
I was very fortunate to come across a wonderful surgeon who explained everything in great detail and was so supportive and helpful throughout the process as I made my decision to go ahead and have a reduction.
On the day of my surgery, my mum and I went to the hospital and I was in surgery for around 4-5 hours. The procedure is done under full anesthetic and I felt pretty groggy after but already a sense of relief as I was told that five pounds of weight had been removed from my chest.
The real journey began after while I was healing. For the first week or so everything was under wraps so I really didn't know what to expect but was excited at the prospect of change.
In the second or third week, I had to face the music and remove the bandages and stitch covers. Although this post isn't necessarily an experience post, I want to mention that the first 2 weeks were uncomfortable and sometimes painful. I felt banged up and bruised and needed to be gentle on my body for a while.
When I removed the bandages I had a moment of terror and regret, asking myself why I had done this and being worried about the result. I looked square and all the skin was blue and purple and it looked terrible. I felt self-conscious and lost and covered them up quickly. I didn't want to face myself in the mirror.
It took a couple of months before my shape returned - if you imagine the skin having to reform around your curves and re-position based on the incisions, your body is working hard to heal and return to it;s normal ways.
As everything healed, I really started to feel more confident, and after finally buying some new pretty bras I could see a real transformation. My back no longer hurt, I felt like I was taller and less burdened and it all finally felt worth it.
Thanks to my ghostly pale skin, my scars faded quickly and today I can hardly see them at all. Now that I am older and have had time to reflect, I am so glad that I went ahead with the procedure - for some it isn't the right thing and many people are against the procedure but for me, I know that it was the best decision.
I want to stress that my journey had very little to do with looks and more to do with comfort. I couldn't enjoy my body because I felt pain. To alter a part of your body the way I did, requires a change in your mind and you have to know that although it may improve an aspect of your life, it won't fix everything.
I welcome questions and comments about my journey so don't be shy!
Today I feel like I have come out on the other side with a better understanding of what my body is capable of and how I can change how I feel about myself on my own.
See you next month!
xxToodalooKatie

Check out the other great blogs who participate in this challenge!

Sunday, January 18, 2015

#UnconditionalBodyBeautiful - Part 1 - My Body and I


Hello everyone!
I'm back to my regular schedule today after a lovely holiday and I am starting a new blogging challenge called Unconditional Body Beautiful, which is a monthly post with each theme surrounding body love and the journey we are on. January is about how I came to love myself, and this has been a post that I have been thinking about a lot as it's hard to put something this big and important into words. 

Me, at one of my dance recitals - I loved dancing but really had trouble remembering the routines on stage.
Let me start by saying that I haven't always been a big fan of me - I was one of those uncomfortable and awkward 12 year old girls who hit puberty before my friends, was horrified to undress in the locker room for gym because I didn't want others to know that I had to wear a bra and would slink back in photos because I felt too big and out of place. I wish I could have told myself then that I was missing out on so much by shying away, but these are lessons we learn later on. 
When I turned 17 and went away to university, I felt like I had been set free, and I no longer had to be the person people had come to know me as in high school, and with this came a new confidence of my body. Although it was still a couple of years before I really wanted to talk about it, my love of fashion and makeup exploded, filling my closet with lots of lovely things and my head with big ideas that wanted out. 

This is the first outfit post on my blog, from 2010.
Fast forward to age 21, and I had started my travel and fashion blog and was leaving Canada to move to Paris. My blog was my way of processing how I interpreted my body. Instead of looking in the mirror and feeling  awful about what I saw, I was starting to understand that I had to find things that I liked about myself and with each passing day, I would find something new. It was a conscious act but one that forced me to know my body.
Recently, in the last 3 years I had my thighs tattooed and I was so surprised, that by placing art that I had thought about and really loved on a part of my body that I wasn't totally in love with before made me come to love it. My once bumpy thighs that stayed hidden, now get out whenever they can - I get compliments on my tattoos all the time and it reminds me that in all honesty, people are not staring at your bumps and lumps, nor do they really care. If someone has the need to point out something like that, it speaks volumes about their own lack of confidence and not yours.
I still have days where I hate my arms or I get frustrated because they don't look they way I would like,  or that I get annoyed because I wish something fit that doesn't, but for every bad day, I always have many more good days and for that I am grateful.
Anytime that I have lost faith in myself, I try and remember the things that my body has allowed me to do. Every time someone implies or assumes that I can't do something because of my weight or they way I look, I know they are wrong. I have travelled the world, walked 800 kilometres in Spain and now live on a boat - all things that require both mental and physical strength and determination. 
I still want to work hard on my body, and do good things for it, like exercise more and fill it with better fuel, but I am learning that I need to give myself time. 

700 kms done, 100 kms to my final destination (you try walking 800 kms without socks and sandals and then we can talk about this fashion choice.)

It's taken over 2/3 of my lifetime to find peace and love within the body that I have, and anything else I want to do with it will take time too.
So tomorrow when I wake up and get dressed, I might feel great but I might also be frustrated about something that I am feeling sensitive about, but I know that by the time midday roles around I will have seen the light and pushed passed it.
Here's to getting your arms out, jiggling your thighs and wearing a bikini.... life only happens once and I don't want to waste anymore time in a cardigan.

Enjoying the blogger life at Simply Be
I would love to hear all about your journey to body love, leave me a comment below!
Also, be sure to check out the other entries below - there are some really fabulous posts.
xxToodalooKatie


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