Saturday, April 5, 2014

You'll take the high road and I'll take the low road...

Good morning everyone!
Sorry for the quiet week, I have been so busy at work but also taking a breather as this week marks a very special but sad anniversary that I wanted to take time to write about

Last year, whilst I was on my little hiatus from blogging, I lost a very special person in my life and now that I have had time to reflect, I wanted to write a little something about her and for her. Back in April of last year, my grandmother died of lung cancer. Having never lost anyone in my life before, and being half way across the world from my family, made the experience just that much harder but I am so grateful for the support and love that everyone in my close and extended family gave me.

My Grandma on the right 

We were so fortunate to have my grandma around for so long as she was diagnosed several years ago and I am so grateful for that. She lived everyday to the fullest and we often let ourselves forget that she wasn't well because she didn't look like what we imagine someone who is unwell to look like. In the last months before she passed, I was fortunate enough to be able to take two weeks off work to fly home and spend time with her. It was very strange to see a woman, who for my entire life had been a strong, confident and lively figure now fading in a hospice bed. Regardless of her physical appearance, she still was her usual witty self, rolling her eyes at my silly comments and encouraging me in all my life plans and stories, no matter how ridiculous. 

If I think back to everything she was to me, I could never put into words what she was, for fear of missing something important. What I can say is that she was always a wonderful and loving grandma who gave me all the attention I could ever have wanted. In our time together, she told great stories, made me laugh so much and was such a joy to be around. She tried new things because I was into them even if she was a bit skeptical at first and was always up to date on what was trendy and in. She was fantastically witty and sharp and carried so much knowledge and wisdom, but saved it all for the moments when it was needed most.



I can remember waking up in the morning when I was little at my grandparent's house and being shy to call out for someone to get me out of bed. I lay in a big double bed, staring at the soft blue curtains, holding the two resident stuffed animals, Leo the Lion and Brown Chocolate Bear, and then finally getting the courage up to say :"Grannnnndma! Come and get me!" Within seconds she would appear, peeking her head through the door, ready to take me down to the kitchen and make my favourite breakfast. She would make me soldiers, but she called them finger toast, and it would arrive at the table buttered, with jam on the side - because it was my job to paint the fingers with jam.

My Grandpa and Grandma who were married for over  60 years

I could go on forever, telling you about the summers in the back garden throwing whiffle balls around, picking rhubarb, and going bowling in the afternoon, as it all makes me so happy, but I could never tell you everything as there just isn't enough time.
I think about her everyday and often picture her waving goodbye to me as I left her room for the last time, saying "toodaloo" as though I would see her again soon. I like to think we never really said goodbye because she's always on my mind.

My Grandma was so stylish and beautiful
One year later, it's still not easy but I want to celebrate her life whenever I can.
Grandma, I love you and miss you everyday.
xxToodalooKatie
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