Good morning friends!
So it has been over a month already since the last
#UnconditionalBodyBeautiful post and I am so pleased that we are back. This
month is all about our busts and what it means to us as women and how it
affects our perceptions of ourselves.
I was looking forward to this post as I have never shared
much about my journey with my chest but have always wanted to as I think it
would be helpful to others, so here we go.
Like I mentioned in my last post, when I was younger, I
developed before most of my friends and for many years was very uncomfortable
with anything to do with my chest. I was scared that girls would say things
when we were changing for gym class because I had to wear a sports bra or any
bra at all for that matter. As luck would have it, I was destined to be full
chested, like all the women in my family, and by the time high school hit, I felt like I was falling over under
the weight of my chest.
All the activities that I loved doing like trampolining
and playing rugby became a chore and my back hurt most of the time. I knew
something had to change.
At 16, I spoke to my family doctor about my
concerns and was referred to a surgeon to talk about my options and the
possibility of a breast reduction. Before I continue, I want to say that I have not listed
my before and after sizes from the surgery because it isn't possible to really
show the difference without knowing how my body was at the time and every
person who goes this route will have a different experience. I don't want to leave people with expectations or false ideas.
I was very fortunate to come across a wonderful surgeon
who explained everything in great detail and was so supportive and helpful
throughout the process as I made my decision to go ahead and have a reduction.
On the day of my surgery, my mum and I went to the
hospital and I was in surgery for around 4-5 hours. The procedure is done under
full anesthetic and I felt pretty groggy after but already a sense of relief as I was told that five pounds of weight had been removed from my chest.
The real journey began after while I was healing. For the first
week or so everything was under wraps so I really didn't know what to expect
but was excited at the prospect of change.
In the second or third week, I had to face the music and
remove the bandages and stitch covers. Although this post isn't necessarily an experience post, I want to mention that the first 2 weeks were uncomfortable and sometimes painful. I felt banged up and bruised and needed to be
gentle on my body for a while.
When I removed the bandages I had a moment of terror and
regret, asking myself why I had done this and being worried about the result. I
looked square and all the skin was blue and purple and it looked terrible. I
felt self-conscious and lost and covered them up quickly. I didn't want to face myself in the mirror.
It took a couple of months before my shape returned - if
you imagine the skin having to reform around your curves and re-position based
on the incisions, your body is working hard to heal and return to it;s normal
ways.
As everything healed, I really started to feel more
confident, and after finally buying some new pretty bras I could see a real
transformation. My back no longer hurt,
I felt like I was taller and less burdened and it all finally felt worth it.
Thanks to my ghostly pale skin, my scars faded
quickly and today I can hardly see them at all. Now that I am older and have
had time to reflect, I am so glad that I went ahead with the procedure - for
some it isn't the right thing and many people are against the procedure but for
me, I know that it was the best decision.
I want to stress that my journey had very little to do with looks and more to do with comfort. I couldn't enjoy my body because I felt pain. To alter a part of your body the way I did, requires a change in your mind and you have to know that although it may improve an aspect of your life, it won't fix everything.
I welcome questions and comments about my journey so don't be shy!
Today I feel like I have come out on the other side with a better understanding of what my body is capable of and how I can change how I feel about myself on my own.
See you next month!
xxToodalooKatie
Check out the other great blogs who participate in this challenge!
www.JustMeLeah.co.uk
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